We were married for eleven years without children. Doctor after doctor, test after test, we were never able to determine why. And then, in 2003, God brought Jim into our family. Sarah came in 2006. And now, it's a white Suburban (used) for Tracy for Mothers Day 2008, as we prepare for her big day.
But as our congregation gathers this morning, the words I say and the things I do will be influenced by those eleven years. Mothers Day can be very hard on many women—those who are single, those who are married but childless, those who have lost a child. I want us to have a day that will honor and bless the mothers among us without rubbing salt into anyone's wounds. One way to do that is to emphasize the mother that we all have rather than the mother that only some of us are. Another approach is to make Mothers Day something more like "Women Day." by giving flowers or gifts to all women indiscriminately.
I'm curious to hear from you. What does your church do on Mothers Day? For those of you who fall into the categories that I mentioned above, is Mothers Day hard for you? Do you find any particular practices to be better or worse for churches to follow on Mothers Day?
I have had several women would could not bear children in my churches (as I am sure most do). One just wouldn't come on Mother's Day - the pain was too great.
ReplyDeleteWe have taken to honoring all women as you suggested, and I usually mention something about women who serve in the church, even though they do not have children of their own.
Its a tricky thing.
I agree. Today we honered the service of the women in our church and though we did nonor the mothers, it was more on those of us who have mothers living and giveing thanks for the influence of mothers in their reward.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it is tricky. Fathers day is as well. The dead beat dads and then those who have lost their fathers is also tough. We tend to use the two days to focus on the family and casting a vision for family spiritual growth and influence.
Not to change the subject (Happy Mothers Day to all mothers) but good call on Puryear a month ago
ReplyDeleteDewayne,
ReplyDeleteNo pat on the back is necessary. Puryear all-but-announced on his blog back then. The average Abercrombie & Fitch ad leaves more to the imagination than Les's posting and comment pattern left unclear up to that point. I think that a LOT of people saw this coming. I took some heat because, of all of those people, I was the one actually to blog something about it.
Bart,
ReplyDeleteThis is for Tracy and all the other Women out there in the World.
JUST A MOM?
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'
'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.
'I'm a Mom.'
'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,' Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'
'What is your occupation?' she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'
Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations'
And great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates?'
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts '
Associate Research Assistants.'
Please send this to another Mom,
Grandmother,
Aunt,
And other friends you know.
May your troubles be less,
Your blessing be more,
And nothing but happiness come through your door!
Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life.
Whom the Lord has set free, is free indeed!
Love Wayne in Bonham,Tc
Thank you for your sensitivity to this issue. It is very hard to sit through sermons and services that cite biological motherhood as the goal of a woman's life. It would be great to hear sermons on Titus 2 on Mother's Day, exhorting all women to actively participate in training, mentoring other women and nurturing those children they come into contact with.
ReplyDeleteyesterday was tough for me. didn't like it. didn't go to church because I was sick. and I am so glad I was sick. selahV
ReplyDeleteSelahV,
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a way we could celebrate motherhood without causing pain for the childless, or those who have lost children.
I am sorry for you and appreciate you.