Saturday, December 13, 2008

Thoughts from a Man Who Can't Stop Thinking

My brain will not let go of those terrible few moments on Thursday afternoon when our car collided with Nicholas Scroggs. I drove back over to the scene today because there were questions rattling around in there that just needed answering. Maybe it's the weirdo Ph.D. in me: What do you do with a problem? You research it. Then you write about it.

Here goes therapy.

So, I went back to do my research today. I tracked down where he would have started his journey on foot. I followed the route up to where the path to the Interstate diverged from the path to the underpass and associated sidewalk—the safe route. I located his house, which was his destination. The safe way was clearly, undeniably, unmistakably, inexplicably the shortest way home. He went out of his way to go across the Interstate, apparently for no other reason than to go across the Interstate.

So much of this I just couldn't see while sitting on the side of the highway. But I went back to that vantage point as well. I picked out the spot where I'm pretty sure he started his run. I noted where I believe that the impact took place. Then that horrible spot where I sat and held his hand.

It's a morality play—that's what it is. And the gospel is right there underneath it. There's the beauty of man, created in the image of God. The last moments of Nicholas Scroggs were beautiful. Even juxtaposed against all of my terror and all of my frantic action, he could have been running for Olympic gold. His stride was perfect. That backpack trailing in the wind. In any other place, at any other time, under any other circumstances, we all would have stood to applaud the sheer athletic grace and beauty and youth and vigor that he displayed. How magnificent! For a moment, it almost felt like he belonged there and the cars were intruding.

That's part of what haunts me so much. The pure vitality of the life that ended with my involvement was on such glorious display right before me in those final moments. Juxtaposed against the horrible images that I see when I lie down at night, I also see his final vigorous moments when he was so alive.

He never saw me. He never looked my direction. There was no expression of fear or hesitation. I really don't think he ever knew.

Alongside the beauty of man, there's our temptation, our spirit of thrill-seeking rebellion, and our fatal flaw. I've tried to chalk this up to his being fourteen. But four, fourteen, or one-hundred-forty, we're all infected with the same virus. Temptation blinds us to consequences. A forty-year-old man has an affair and fails to think, "I could lose my marriage, my good relationship with my children, a lot of money" All he sees is the temptation. A fourteen-year-old boy wants the thrill of running across eight lanes of freeway and doesn't even see the grave risk that he will never again reach home. Grown people tank up on booze and get behind the wheel and it somehow never occurs to them that they just might kill somebody tonight. It's the same disease; the forty-year-old just doesn't have the energy to run across concrete for no reason at all. We struggle to understand, especially because he was a good boy and a smart boy. We're so puzzled to sort it all out because we're looking for some error that he made in his thinking. It wasn't his brain; it was his will.

As they call us in C. S. Lewis's fictional land of Narnia, we are truly sons of Adam. So, why did Nick Scroggs do what he did? Well, why do you do what you do? Why do I do what I do? Because we're broken. We will to do what even we know to be unwise, to be hurtful, to be wrong. We do it because we wanted to do it, and that's all the reason that we need.

And then the terrible consequences. They sneak up on you. You may not ever see them coming. And they don't just affect you. They put in danger the people you love, the folks traveling around you. Folks you don't even know, they hurt because of what you do. The victimless crime: I think it belongs with Sasquatch and the Abominable Snowman.

Finally, there's the loving person trying to encourage a friend to choose life. Nick had a good friend (I think he's remained unnamed in the media, and I'm not going to out him) who was walking with him that day. He refused to cross the Interstate with Nick. He tried to convince Nick to go down to the underpass with him and to join him in the journey safely home. He tried. But Nick's friend couldn't choose for Nick; Nick made his own decision.

Nick's friend and I, we've got to be feeling a lot of the same things right now. Nick's friend tried to persuade him to go another way. I tried to miss Nick, and almost succeeded. If that concrete barrier had been just two feet further to the left, I think that I could have gotten past him safely.

So often I'm on a cell phone or placating an unhappy child while driving. But I was 100% and entirely undistracted at that moment. What are the odds? If I'd been chatting away on a call or turned to pick up a thrown sippy-cup or driving along at some frantic and excessive speed, then I'd be second-guessing and feeling a lot of guilt right now. And thank God that I'm a teetotaling abstentionist—if I had had "just one beer" or "just one glass of wine" over lunch, I would carry with me to the grave the question of whether my so very slight impairment might have made the difference between life and death. As it was, by the grace of God, it was a moment when I was doing everything right.

If Nick's friend hadn't tried to talk him out of it—God forbid, if he'd been egging Nick on and daring him—then he would carry that burden all of his life. But he did try to talk him out of it and refused to go with him. And so, by the grace of God, we're surrounded by people saying over and over again, "You know that this wasn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could do about it." And we know that they're right.

But somehow, as I sat on the concrete of Interstate 30 and held Nick's lifeless hand, and as Nick's friend fell on the concrete and begged Nick to wake up, it not being our fault wasn't worth a bucket of spit. It wasn't about assigning blame; it was about tragedy and loss. Thank God, I know for certain from having witnessed it all that Nick never suffered. He was running, and then he was gone. I saw both. And all that was left was other people sitting around bewildered, trying to figure out why.

There you go. That's the way I see it. God's masterpieces tempted to do very dangerous and foolhardy things and meeting up with terrible consequences that too often destroy them and hurt everyone at ground zero. This is the story even of good people.

Are we doomed just to suffer with this condition? Knowing the Lord, I recognize the gospel in there. This story is exactly what the Bible says about us. It further says that God did an intervention. Jesus took the worst of our consequences upon Himself. He saves us and then sends us out to warn people away from the danger while we're walking with them. When they don't listen, even when we've done everything that we can, it hurts something awful. I don't even want to imagine what it feels like when we didn't do anything to stop it.

Not everyone involved in this story will be a Christian. Mine is just a little personal blog, but there might even be someone reading this who is not a Christian. Perhaps you see it differently. Please understand, I'm not trying to manipulate Nick's story and use him for anything at all. Far from it. But I just can't put it out of my mind. Sleep eludes me and solace cannot be found. Tracy has to grab me and snap me back into this reality pretty often, because I'm just insentient and lost back in the reliving of those terrible seconds, oblivious to whatever is going on around me right now. I'm thinking it through and writing about it because something's got to help, and maybe this is it.

And when I try to make sense of it all, I see the gospel there. Because I think that the Bible describes us pretty doggone well. God's got our number. And maybe, if we can all come to grips with that, we'll let Him help us.

I'm not feeling very eloquent tonight, and I need to try to sleep. And I'm scared to death to write about this because it would be so easy to hurt people when probing around in a wound looking for something. Please forgive me.

56 comments:

Robert Scroggs said...

Thank you Dr. Barber for your wonderful words. I feel that you described this tragedy very accurately, and with a great deal of sensitivity. I'm so sorry that this had to happen. I'm sorry for Nick's sake, for my sake, for all of the other people who love Nick. I am also sorry for the sake of you and your family, as well of those who know and love you. This sort of tragedy is truly devastating to everyone involved. I know that you do not know my family, but if attending the memorial service will help provide you with some sense of closure, you are certainly welcome. I am posting the obituary below. I hope you do not mind.

Thank you for your kind words.
Robert

Celebration Services for Nicholas Alexander Scroggs (14) of Grand Prairie, TX, will be 2:00p.m. Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at the Ruthe Jackson Center in Grand Praire. Nicholas died December 11, 2008 in Grand Prairie. He was born to Robert and Barbara Dent Scroggs August 18, 1994 in Denton and was attending Grand Prairie High School. Nick was taking a full slate of Gifted & Talented classes at Grand Prairie High School where he was also a member of the swim team and a friend to everyone. He had a passion for reading, drawing, and playing all types of musical instruments, especially the drums. He was always gung- ho about trying new experiences and his smile and energy were contagious to everyone. Left behind to cherish his memory are parents Robert Scroggs and his wife Katherine of Grand Prairie, Barbara Brumbaugh and her husband Don of NRH, brother Houston Chapman, sister Madalyn Brumbaugh, grandparents Jack and Charlotte Scroggs of Denton and Charles and Lee Dent of Poncha Springs, CO, great grandmothers Genevieve Scroggs of Denton and Ethel Dill of Fort Collins, CO, and many aunts, uncles, and cousins who also loved him dearly. Memorial contributions are suggested to the Nicholas Scroggs Memorial Fund. www.homesteadfuneralhomes.com

Anonymous said...

Thank you. This was beautifully written and respectful.
~Anna

Wayne Smith said...

Bart and Robert,

What a Beautiful Witness for the Lord in what you 2 Men are sharing about Nick’s Life and How God’s Perfect Plan for all our Lives Play out in this World and then God Calls us Home for His GLORY. May God Wrap His Arm’s around Both of You in and with his Abundant Love. Prayers are being lifted up in many Churches here in Bonham.

In His Name
Wayne

Alan Cross said...

My prayers are with the Scroggs and Barber families right now. I am grieving for you both and lifting you up before the Lord in the midst of this tragedy.

Baptist Theology said...

Bart and Robert,

You and your families have been and will remain in the prayers of our family.

God is love.
Man images God.
Sin mars the divine image.
Death destroys the divine image.
Jesus Christ overcame sin and death.
His Spirit even now renews the image.
God is love.

In Him,
Malcolm and Karen Yarnell

Todd Benkert said...

Praying for you, Bart.
God is faithful.

Tim Rogers said...

Mr. Scroggs,

Your family is in our prayers.

Bart,

Your family is also.

We will be in prayer on Tuesday for the Scroggs Family as they publicly celebrate the short time they had with Nick.

Blessings,
Tim

Jeff Richard Young said...

Dear Dr. BB,

We're all praying for you. Thanks for sharing what you have written here.

Love in Christ,

Jeff

Deborah Watkins said...

Dr Barber: I have been a good friend of Nicholas' father since we were both only a few years older than Nick. I want to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for this entry. There are so many specific things that you said that helped me. Your description of an amazing athlete, and knowing that he never looked over or felt any fear - and so much of what you shared - bring me a peace that I didn't think could be at this point. I am grateful for your intelligence and willingness to do "the research". Believe me, Nicholas' family is full of brainiacs and I just know they appreciate this! I just wanted to thank you for putting such a beautiful vision in my mind. To imagine Nicholas feeling glorious in his last moments is a gift. I wish your family much love and comfort - you have certainly given some to me today. Bless you, Deborah Watkins

selahV said...

Bart, writing your feelings and thoughts does help in situations like these. If I hadn't started blogging when I lost my son, I think I would have gone insane. I was a puddle of confusion, heartache and frustration.

Mr. Scroggs, my heart goes out to you and your wife. I know what it's like to lose a son. But I don't know what it is like to lose yours. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you walk this long journey of grief. May God grant you peace and strength in the days ahead, particularly now. selahV (hariette petersen, Lawton, Oklahoma)

Kevin Bussey said...

Bart,

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my accident 21 years ago. I wonder "if" and "maybe" but I can't change it. I feel for the Scroggs just like I did for the family of the young man that ran in front of my car.

I know you don't see it now, but God will use this to allow you to minister to someone else who has gone through this pain.

I'm still praying for you and the Scroggs family.

Anonymous said...

Bart and Robert,

I am so glad to read Dr. Barber's words. But I am so sorry for all of you. You are in our prayers, and those of so many others. At church this morning our pastor lead us in prayer for not only Nick's family, friends, and faculty but also for the driver (Dr. Barber). I knew Nick's parents when he was a baby. When I heard the news on TV, it was just so shocking. I learned that Nicholas was fourteen (how could time go so fast?) and had grown into an intelligent, lively, talented young man. As much as I have been thinking about this since hearing the news, I can only imagine what the two of you and your families are going through. May you find some peace.

Sheri

peter lumpkins said...

My brother Bart,

Prayers for your family...And prayers for the Scroggs...

Paul said...

Bart,

All the differences in the world melt away in moments like these. Prayers go out to you and your family and the Scroggs family.

Paul

Byroniac said...

Bart Barber, I know you do not know me that well but we are friends on Facebook. I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy. My confidence remains in what He has written in the Scriptures.

Rom 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Tim G said...

Barber and Scroggs families,

Our prayers continue to go out to you both! May you feel the grace of God and the Peace that only He can give!

Tim and Heidi Guthrie

Grosey's Messages said...

My dear friends,
my heart goes out to you and I pray for both of your families,
Steve in Australia

Anonymous said...

Bart,
You were my pastor 9 years ago before i married my husband and started a family. I saw your wife and sweet daughter at Old time Saturday this past October.
Though I have not been under your pastoral care in quite some time, our family mourns for you and yours and prays for healing for you.

Anonymous said...

Isa 57:1 The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.

Anonymous said...

You say you don't feel eloquent. Once again, the Holy Spirit speaks through His vessel with an eloquence we can neither understand nor take credit for. You know so little of Nick, and yet you describe what you know in such a way that we all feel we know him a little bit now, and we grieve for him and pray for his family all the more. What a lesson for us that while we must be cautious in our decisions, we must also live life with passion and abandon, to run the race full out with all our hearts! It is a difficult balance for all of us to find, but if we take anything from this experience, I hope it is that in grieving we do not forget to live! I like to think that would be Nick's advice to us all. Nick truly LIVED until the moment he ceased living. How many of us can say the same? ~Heidi Guthrie

Pastor Mike said...

Bart and the Scroggs Family,
My heart hurts with you. You are continually in my prayers.

Les Puryear said...

Bart,

Your best post. Thanks for sharing your heart. Praying for your family and the Scroggs family.

Les

Anonymous said...

I work with Nick's grandmother. An email is going around with a link to your blog. We appreciate your words, and your kindness. I am sorry that this happened. Know that we grieve with his family and with you at his loss. Thanks for your blog. . . I pray that it helps many through this sad time.

Rick said...

May our God of Peace and Comfort tend the needs of you and your family and to those of the Scroggs family.

Anonymous said...

Those of us who were touched by Nicholas are also having a hard time slowing their minds down.

Your words helped today.

Kimberly

Pinky said...

Bart,
your humanity will touch more people than you can ever imagine. I'm so very sorry that this happened and I haven't stopped praying for you, Tracy, and the kids since it did. Please continue to let it out, Bart. Don't bottle it up.

Mr. Scroggs,
my heart aches for you and your family at this time. It's truly unnatural to say goodbye to a child. My family will pray for yours, knowing that God will carry you through this time and will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Pinky said...

Bart, by 'your humanity, I meant your expressing your emotions.

Oh, and it's Jennifer B.

Anonymous said...

Bart and Robert Scroggs,

Our family prays for your families today, May God hold you up today!! love, Jenni , larry, shayna,dakota,and dillon

Richard Alexander said...

You have written of some of the same things that I am feeling. I was on my way back home to Garland from Fort Worth, when I saw the mail semi-trailor rig ahead of me and the traffic next to it abruptly slow. When I pulled up next to the semi, I saw Nick. I'm not very good as a First Responder. I keep going over in my mind what I could have or at least should have done to have helped Nick. I keep picking apart every detail of how that scene was handled. I tried to help Nick's friend as best I could, too, but it is difficult to know what to do. I'm sorry if I caused anyone any unnecessary pain. I know this scene will be forever with his friend.

A few things are reasonably certain to me. This accident was known by a higher intelligence that it was going to happen. We were put at that scene for a purpose. I don't know what that purpose was. I have asked God why it was important that I had to be there. I should not even have driven to Fort Worth that day. It was a wasted, hour-long trip, that put me precisely at the accident scene a minute after it happened. I knew when I left my house that was going to happen, in the same way that a man knows a sticking door is going to hurt his hand, because it happens repeatedly.

I used to be a volunteer fireman, CPR certified. It hurts me to say that I was not prepared to do what should have been done, regardless of how effective my efforts would have been. I don't believe that I was there to save Nick's life, though I certainly wanted to and tried to think of a way to do it. I have few clues of the reason I was there. Was it because I share a few coincidental similarities with Nick? I was a swimmer in high school, too; I took 3 years of Lifesaving and Water Safety. I was in the Gifted and Talented program at my high school. I was hit and knocked unconcious by a car when I crossed a highway when I was in high school. I even share one of my names with Nick. These coincidences may not have any practical significance, but they leave an impression on me.

I very much regret that this happened. It torments my thoughts what has happened to the Scroggs family. I have prayed for all of you.

Brother Chris said...

Dr. Barber,

I want you to know that our church prayed for you and your family, as well as the Scroggs family, by name in our service Sunday morning.

In Christ,
Rev. Christopher Keefer
Pastor
FBC of Poolville, Texas

r. grannemann said...

I first read of this Sunday night and was deeply sobered. I too "can't stop thinking."

The gravity of the tragedy is a reminder of the cost of human freedom, something which must become operative even as children. Sometimes we make bad choices and are not protected from the cost.

If it is any consolation, God's gift of freedom must be worth it. For this reason Christ came, to heal our failures. Perhaps we can be comforted that the grace of God is operative still amid all the pain.

My prayers have been with and for you.

donsands said...

I can not fathom the heaviness your heart must feel, and the strain this must be upon your mind.
I want to thank you for writing this. It helped me. I was tempted, and actually gave into the stupid temptation years ago. I wrote about it, and I thought it may help. Not that I'm anybody, and not that I want to impress or anything like that. I truly would like to perhaps be used by our Lord to help you through this dark time in your life.

You have helped me confront my temptations. Thanks you so much. I will be praying for you.
http://dlsands.blogspot.com/2008/12/blog-post_06.html

Anonymous said...

We should never stop thinking.

I appreciate your acknowledgement that some of us out here who count the Scruggs' family as friends are unbelievers. I could go through what you've said and replace God with natural processes and it would mean the same, though. We grieve with the Scruggs over this senseless loss. And isn't all loss senseless!?

We all need to think *more* but, in the end, we're still going to make mistakes. It's only thinking more and better afterwards - if we survive - that we recognize our mistakes. Let us learn from them.

Amanda Jo said...

Bro. Bart,

I just want you to know that the day that I heard about this accident I remember being strongly prompted by the Lord to pray for the driver that hit this young man. It wasn't until today that I found out that you were that driver.

I just wanted you to know that you were prayed for that day, and I will continue to pray for you and your family, Nick's family as well has his friend.

I wish there were words I could say to bring you comfort outside of just letting you know that I'm praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you to know that last Sunday at our church and during the funeral today we prayed for the Scroggs and the Barbers.

May God bless and keep you.

Sincerely,
David R. Brumbelow

Kevin S said...

I heard of the accident several days ago on the radio. I did not know who had been involved, but I took time to pray for those effected. My family will continue to pray for the Scroggs and Barber families in the days ahead.

Denny Gorena said...

From the First Baptist Church of Leonard to the Scroggs and Barber families:

Grace to you.

Please know that our Fellowship is praying for your families and all involved.

Denny Gorena, Pastor

Patty said...

I am praying for your families.

Anonymous said...

I was at the service today. Your words ring so true with what the first thoughts I had when my daughter told me about Nick. You know that the Lord calls us home when he is ready. When we have served our purpose here, it is time to be with the Father. You and Nick have taught us all alot. My daughter recently was captured by temptation. Ordinarily, she would have gone through her punishment and moved on; however, your words and Nick's passing have taught her many lessons. Thank you for your willingness to show us this message. We will keep you and your family in our prayers as we continue to ask for peace and healing for Nick's family.

Richard Alexander said...

The service today truly was a celebration of Nick's life. I'm glad that I was able to attend. I'm glad that I was able to meet you afterward, too.

I wrote earlier that I believe that each of us at that scene were there for a purpose. Maybe it wasn't all the same purpose, but we were there for at least one purpose. I know this is a painful time for you, but, from my perspective, it was better that you were the driver than for someone else. I think that you have the strengths to bear this burden. Many other people don't.

Richard Alexander said...

I am reminded of a story by Hans Christian Andersen, titled, "Lucky Peer." The closing paragraph reads,

"What a moment of life for the young artist,—the highest, the greatest! A mightier one could never again be granted him, he felt. A wreath of laurel glanced upon his breast and fell down before him. He had seen from whose hand it came. He saw the young girl in the box nearest the stage, the young baroness, rising like a Genius of Beauty, singing a p├Žan over his triumph.

"A fire rushed through him, his heart swelled as never before, he bowed, took the wreath, pressed it against his heart, and at the same moment fell backward.—Fainted? dead?—What was it?——The curtain fell.
. . . . . . .


"'Dead!" ran the word through the house. Dead in the moment of triumph, like Sophocles at the Olympian Games, like Thorwaldsen in the theatre during Beethoven’s symphony. An artery in his heart had burst, and as by a flash of lightning his day here was ended, ended without pain, ended in an earthly jubilee, in the fulfilment of his mission on earth. Lucky Peer! More fortunate than millions!"

Anonymous said...

Mr. Barber,

We have all been weeping on and off for days now.

It is so hard to wrap our heads around that we've lost Nicholas.

Nick was "ours" - all of ours. Nick's aunt did a wonderful job describing all of our families.

We aren't supposed to lose our children. It's just not right.

But it does happen. It happens to "others" all the time.

Now, we are the "others."

While it is a horrific thing to have happen, I feel blessed that it was THIS man out of all the others on the highway that day that it happened to. YOU held Nick's hand and prayed for him, and in trying to comfort an already dead child, you've comforted many of us in the child's family.

Do you not see, sir, how your grace has been an integral part of how we are dealing with this?

Please be comforted. Please know that you did right, and that you are doing right.

And thank you, for loving Nick as your brother, and mourning his loss with us.

Kindest regards,
Kimberly

Bart Barber said...

Kimberly,

I've been deeply moved by the graciousness with which Nick's family welcomed Tracy and me yesterday. Attending and participating yesterday was good medicine for both of us. And if God is able to use us to help others too, then we praise the way that tragedy and suffering can sometimes give rise to good things. And I am confident that God is in the business of doing just that with those who obey Him.

Thanks for your words of encouragement.

Bart Barber said...

To all:

I have begun the pleasant task of trying to reply to all who have reached out to us in encouragement since Thursday. You have all been so gracious that it may take some time to do so. But I'm going to try, anyway. Please be patient as I try to find the time in the next few days to interact with each of your comments on this blog.

Anonymous said...

Bart...you have no need to reply. Your blog touched my heart. I wish EVERY rambunctious, talented, loved 14 year old could read it. I cannot imagine what you went through, and what Nick's family is going through...it makes my heart HURT. BUT, I have lifted YOUR name to the Father, who heals hurts, and to the Scroggs family...may the Father touch their hearts and heal the wounds they are feeling. You all will be in my thoughts. Nick will be missed by his family, but through this unfortunate horrific tragedy, he will also be thought about by another family, Bart Barber's family...and all those who have expressed their love and prayers to all concerned. I pray for a healing balm to be applied to the hearts and lives of all involved. Linda Beach

Tammy said...

Thank you for sharing The Gospel clearly through this tragedy. Blessings on you and your family as well as the Scroggs

kate said...

Can I email you a blog I wrote about this - it is not a Christian perspective - but my own stream of consciousness on human tragedy in response

LOUIS MOORE said...

Our prayers are with you, Bart and family, and Robert and family. May God bless you all! Thanks for your transparency and honesty. May God use this tragic situation some way, some how for His glory.

Louis and Kay Moore
Garland, Texas

Pam Selman said...

I heard of this tragedy just today from my 15 y.o. daughter. I thought no, this can't be right, it's not possible, not Bro. Bart, not a child. My first instinct was to pray for Bro. Bart and his family due to my separation from the Scroggs family. Don't get me wrong, I prayed for the child that I didn't know until now. I decided to research to find out if what I had heard was true. To my grave ignorance of what happened, my heart goes out to both families.

Scroggs family, I have children and I could not imagine the loss you must feel. May God embrace you and give you strength each day. Please find comfort in knowing that God has a purpose for us all and I truly believe it was destiny that brought you and Bro. Bart and his family together. God Bless You and Your Family.

Bro. Bart, until now, I thought this was just a rumor. My heart goes out to you and your family. There is no need to respond, I just wanted you to know that your blog could only be the work of the Lord using your words as his vessel to comfort YOU as well as all the others that are in pain due to this tragic accident. I pray that GOD gives you comfort in knowing when He involved you in this particular event in the lives of the Scroggs family, all were given a blessing that it was not a drunk driver or someone just not paying attention or a blatant act of selfishness. I pray that you receive the comfort that others have received by your words. I have personally seen how the Lord has used you as a tool to bring others closer to Him, including my family. I hope that these beautiful words you have written that gave me a little insight into what a beautiful young man this child was will ease your mind in knowing that you truly are doing GOD'S WORK.

Pam Selman and Family

Anonymous said...

I applaud your healthy journey in healing.

Anonymous said...

Dear Scroggs family,
Being a father and now a grandfather, I have always carried the fear that most parents do. That at some time, never expected, we would hear a knock at the door, or the phone call that would shatter our hearts. Maybe because when I was in high school, a mere 15 or so years old, a classmate of mine was also taken away just a quickly in a tragic accident.
Attending his memorial service left a huge impact on my perception of life and just how precious and fragile it really is.
There is no doubt in my mind, having read about Nicholas, that in his living he has touched many lives. We may not know for many years yet to come, but no doubt so did his passing.
Beyond understanding, there are places where just pain resides. I pray that those places would, by the Grace of our loving Father, be worn down into peace by the memories of who Nicholas was, his joy, his laughter, his youthful spirit. May you all carry his memory forth with more love and time for each other.

All I do know is that Nicholas left school one day and with all his heart took off running.... and he ran right into the arms of God.

We shall all do likewise someday, usually sooner than we expect, and in various ways, most of which are not of our choosing.

Bless you Bart, for having the courage to share your thoughts and heartfelt feelings with everyone. May the presence of God comfort and guide you through this dark time.
In life's brief play we all have our parts. As hard and painful as it may be, God set this one before you. He loves and trusts you. He knows your heart and will not leave it leathery and scarred. He will complete the work, according to His plan, for His purposes and unto His glory.

My family and friends continue to lift everyone who has been touched by this tragic, but yet divine, moment in time.

Len said...

Bart,

Oh my! What can I say?

I'm so sorry.

Mr. Ware

Apryll C said...

This has truly been amazing to read, and I pray for both families. I beg the Lord to grant mercy, love and grace to all involved and to carry the load of hurting people involved in this tragedy. He loves us so much and sees so much more than we can we fathom.

Kim said...

I'm sorry. I know it probably won't help yet, but you are right about God. The only thing I can say is to let go of it and let Him take it. That helped me once, perhaps it will help you.

Anonymous said...

Bart....
All I can do or say now is to pray , earnestly for peace..for you and all involved in your vehicle, and Nick's family. As a mere human I don't have the capacity to heal or help in any way...all I can offer is my pleas to God to comfort you all. I'm proud to know you.

Laura Breeding Cook
Lake City AR F.B.C.

Lance said...

Mr. Scroggs and your family...and Brother Barber and your family....my deepest prayers go out to you. My son, Nicholas died on march 21st of this year. he was 7 when he died...7 years, 3 months and 10 days old. he has been gone for 283 days, 23 hours and 30-some minutes. i wish i had something eloquent to tell you...or some words of wisdom that would make it "all better"...but those words do not exist. For Mr. Scroggs...i am not sure how i have made it these last 9 months...i am in constant and complete pain and grief. but i have a wife and son that i have to take care of. as much as i hate and detest it...the cold, hard fact is that the world keeps turning and life keeps going. and that alone has kept me up for days. i won't lie to you and tell you that it has gotten better. it has NOT. just know that if you ever need to talk to someone who has just recently lost their "Nicholas"...i'm your man. you should be able to email me or look me up in the phone book. PLEASE feel free to call...ANYTIME.

Lance LeVan
Mansfield, TX